And on it goes.

Not in a good place right now, which is why I can't write. Which is silly, when I'm in a good place, I don't feel the need to write, when I'm down, I can't write. Right now, I feel like I can't write, can't knit, can't color, can't watch tv, can't shower, can't clean, can't do laundry, can't MOVE. So I'm making myself write.
Therapy right now is writing down the things that trigger me, and tracing it back to where in the past led to these things being triggers. This is one of the most emotionally wrenching things I have ever done. I KNOW these things happened in my past, mostly I try to ignore them. Which results in me getting irrationally mad about being interrupted at work and lashing out at people. Ignoring things doesn't work any more. I have so many ignored things they are spilling out all over my life.

Case in point. I posted a silly "What do you think of me" thing on my FB yesterday. Just in fun. And my mom put "Crazy, Smart, Beautiful, Creative, Awesome, I Love you, and Amazing". These are things I was never told growing up. NEVER. My mom never actually said the words I love you to me until I was 16 and we were in a therapy session together. When I mentioned it, she sad, Well, OF COURSE I love you! But I never heard that. I heard, You're too fat, You can't do anything right, Why can't you keep your room clean. I heard how great my brother was whenever we ran into someone she knew in the grocery store and places like that. And, Oh, this is my daughter. Never anything about how smart, creative, and beautiful I was. Just This is Heather. I heard Stop being so sensitive. There's nothing to cry about. Just ignore it. Basically, I was told to Man Up. Don't let things BOTHER you so much. Who tells their daughter to man up? Instead of trying to find out WHY she has these issues. Why she's still wetting the bed far past when she should be.
I learned how to mirror everyone's emotions around me. Because mine were wrong. Mine were bad. Mine weren't allowed.

Make SURE your kids know that you love them. And that it's OK to be sensitive. And if it seems abnormal, TRY to find out why.