In the past 5 days I have had a tooth pulled, my ex/roomie lost his job, and lost 2 friends. One to his own idiocy, and one, I'm not really sure why. I have an idea, but no way of knowing if it's true or not.
My married friend forgot to delete his text messages. And his wife saw them. And took his phone, texted me pretending to be him, and panicked me into driving 130 miles round trip to see him. While he was in the hospital. He had gone in Sunday night with atrial fibrillation. And his psychotic wife drew me up there why? To make a scene while her husband was in the hospital with HEART problems? Pretty much. So, he's gone. I miss him. I miss talking to him. But I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I think I did my grieving before this happened.
The other guy... I don't know. He was a friend of a friend. We started talking. We had been trading snarky comments and having amazing chats. He was planning to come out here by my for a weekend this summer. That was all his idea. I never hid what I have. I never pretended to be anything but me. I told him about the bipolar, the no self esteem. He was encouraging. When I told him about the other guy, and losing my only real support, he offered to take that place. He was hinting at interest. Then he got snippy when I didn't answer an IM right away. Then he thought I was upset when I didn't comment back on a snarky comment he made. I wasn't. Then the day I got my tooth pulled, he unfriended me. And when I asked him why, he said there was too much negativity, and that brings out the worst in him. I have no idea where THAT came from. He messaged me that, and then blocked me. I THINK he was getting too involved, panicked, and cut & ran. But I don't know for sure.
I'm feeling pretty rejected. I have no support, except a couple of online groups. I was feeling pretty good earlier today, but now I'm rethinking why he dd that. I was damned certain it wasn't me, now I'm not so sure. I want to use a different account I have to send him a message. But I don't know if that's the right thing to do. If I should just let it go. Or push it. I would welcome any feedback, if anyone reads this.
